Having a carer by your side will help provide emotional support through diagnosis, treatment and beyond.

Most people who receive a serious skin cancer (including melanoma) diagnosis choose to have a carer (or network of carers) to be their closest supporters throughout their journey. For many people this is their partner, but it could be a friend, sibling, child, parent or someone whose stage-of-life or previous experience means they are able to help. Whether you are waiting to go into an appointment, receiving treatment or making difficult decisions, carers play a vital role in supporting you.

The relationship between yourself and your carer may seem natural, especially for partners or family members. As part of your cancer diagnosis and treatment you may need to make decisions about topics that neither you nor your carer understand very well. It can be overwhelming listening to the different health care professionals talk about the roles they will have in your treatment, the treatment, and how it all fits together.

What does the role of carer involve?

This might seem obvious and in many ways it will be. Your carer is there to provide emotional support through your diagnosis and treatment journey. Your carer may have to play different roles and do new tasks as your carer that they do not normally do in your life. For example, they may provide updates about your health and progress to your support network to save you time calling everyone every week. You might ask your carer to handle your diary and logistics of getting to appointments. This might mean role reversals in some relationships, especially if you are usually the one who does these things.

It is important that you communicate clearly with your carer about what you would like them to help with.

This is to ensure they understand how they can best support you. Your carer will appreciate you telling them what you want them to do and do not want them to do. They will want to help as much as possible but will need guidance on the best way to help.

Medical Appointments and the role of your carer

Talk to your carer about whether you would like them to go with you to all of your appointments. At some appointments you may need to make important decisions about your treatment. This is when your carer can play a helpful role in asking questions, confirming your understanding of key information and helping you work through the decisions you need to make.

Over time, you will become more comfortable with the regular appointments, and you will know which appointments will not involve new information or difficult decisions. If you begin treatment, you may become more comfortable to attend on your own. Some patients use their time at the hospital to work, read a good book or listen to music.

Caring for the carer

While the physical aspects of a serious skin cancer diagnosis are experienced by the patient, the emotional strain of the diagnosis, treatment and uncertainty is also likely to be felt by the carer. It is very natural to feel overwhelmed at first. Carers can visit Carers Australia to find further information and resources, and to discover what kind of support is available.

When having a dedicated carer is not an option

If you do not have a carer, or your carer cannot help you as much as you need, there are government and community health services that can help you. If you are an older person, you can get assistance to help access the aged care system. Speak to your treatment team or GP about what services might be available for you.