Looking after your mental health and emotional wellbeing after a diagnosis of skin cancer or melanoma

Looking after your mental health at the time of diagnosis can be a real challenge. Most of your time will be spent attending appointments to understand your physical health issues related to your diagnosis. You have to figure out how to share the difficult news with family and friends, what to say to work colleagues and friends, and how to help the kids and grandkids understand. You may need to change household and work routines. The list goes on.

Mental health and emotional wellbeing is just as important as physical health. Mental health is sometimes overlooked, particularly in the early days and weeks after a serious diagnosis.

MSCAN speaks with Dr. Eleanor De Ath-Miller, a wellbeing consultant psychologist and clinical neuropsychologist, on how to recognise signs and symptoms of stress and how to look after your mental health. Dr. Eleanor De Ath-Miller has also contributed a Spot On Podcast with helpful suggestions on how to cope with a diagnosis. You can listen to on the Spot On Podcast here.

How to look after your mental health, right from the earliest stages of diagnosis and treatment

Common and expected psychological and emotional responses at the time of melanoma diagnosis include shock, fear, sadness, anger and sometimes guilt. Adjusting to having cancer is an ongoing process.

Sometimes people with advanced cancer do not want to mention their stress, worry or sadness with their treatment team because they do not want to be seen as demanding, and/or they want the treatment team to focus on treating their cancer (rather than being ‘distracted’ by their psychological experiences). For others, signs and symptoms
of stress like sleep problems, tiredness or an upset stomach might be attributed to the effects of cancer itself or the side effects of treatment.

We know that if stress levels are lower, your quality of life tends to be better. While this seems obvious, studies show some of the benefits of being less stressed include:

• It is easier to make decisions about your treatment.
• You have better relationships with your treatment team.
• You reach out to your team for medical advice when you need it.

What can you do?

Find a way to regularly check in with yourself and notice what is happening without giving yourself a hard time:

• What tends to come up in my thinking? Am I thinking about the future and imagining what might happen? Am I focusing on past events and getting stuck back there?
• Are there signs of stress in my body or mind? What are they?
• What is that emotion? I might not like it or want it, but can I label it? Can I take a deep breath and remind myself it is part of me, not all of me?
• When thoughts, emotions or signs of stress show up, can I remind myself this is all normal at the moment?
• Can I remind myself (even by telling myself out loud) I am doing my best in a very difficult situation?
• Can I focus on the things I can control and influence, and gently redirect my focus away from the things I currently can’t do anything about?
• Can I dedicate some Worry Time before bed where I write down all the things that are bothering me, so I can put them down until tomorrow?
• Who can I talk to around me about my worries and fears? If I would raise a physical symptom with my loved ones and team without thinking twice, can I do the same for a troubling emotion, anxious body sensations, sleeping difficulties, or my racing mind? If that is difficult for any reason, can I ask my GP or treatment team to recommend someone I can talk to?

Whatever you are feeling, it is okay. It is also okay if you need help processing your feelings. Ask your GP or treatment team for a referral to a psychologist or counsellor who can help.